Self-forgiveness, repair, & committed action

In this week's episode, I focus on self-forgiveness from both a psychological and contemplative/meditative perspective: what it means to self-forgive and ways we can practice self-forgiveness. I share some of the psychological research to date on the benefits of self-forgiveness and then draw on this research to discuss some specific strategies for engaging in the practice of self-forgiveness: 1) acknowledgement and accountability; 2) self-understanding through the lens of self-compassion; 3) intra- and interpersonal amends-making and repair; and 4) committed action. I end with a guided meditation focused on self-forgiveness that incorporates many of these strategies.

To connect more with Dr. Foynes:

1. Check out the free 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

2. 1:1 Coaching Program: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

3. Follow @drfoynes on Instagram.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, and is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

References & Additional Resources

1. Cornish, M. A., & Wade, N. G. (2015a). A therapeutic model of self-forgiveness with intervention strategies for counselors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 93, 96–104.

2. Enright, R. D. (1996). Counseling within the forgiveness triad: On forgiving, receiving forgiveness, and self‐forgiveness. Counseling and values, 40(2), 107-126.

3. Jacinto, G. A., & Edwards, B. L. (2011). Therapeutic stages of forgiveness and self-forgiveness. Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 21(4), 423–437.

4. Pelucchi S, Paleari FG, Regalia C, Fincham FD. Self-forgiveness in romantic relationships: It matters to both of us. J Fam Psychol. 2013;27(4):541-549. 

5. Peterson SJ, Van Tongeren DR, Womack SD, Hook JN, Davis DE, Griffin BJ. The benefits of self-forgiveness on mental health: Evidence from correlational and experimental research. J Posit Psychol. 2017;12(2):159-168. 

6. Rasmussen KR, Stackhouse M, Boon SD, Comstock K, Ross R. Meta-analytic connections between forgiveness and health: The moderating effects of forgiveness-related distinctions. Psychol Health. 2019;34(5):515-534.

7. Whited MC, Wheat AL, Larkin KT. The influence of forgiveness and apology on cardiovascular reactivity and recovery in response to mental stress. J Behav Med. 2010;33(4):293-304.

8. Woodyatt, L., Worthington, E. L., Wenzel, M., & Griffin, B. J. (2017). Orientation to the psychology of self-forgiveness. In Handbook of the psychology of self-forgiveness (pp. 3-16). Springer, Cham.

9. Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2013). Moving forward: Six steps to forgiving yourself and breaking free from the past. Colorado Springs, CO: WaterBrook Press.